It has been nearly 2 months since I boarded a plane in Omaha, Nebraska unsure of what to expect for the next 8 months.

My only goal: To expand the Kingdom of God.

What that meant, I didn't really know. You see, I came on this trip expecting to change the world. To love on the unloved, to help the helpless, to give hope to the hopeless. But what I have realized is I have no power. I cannot love, help or give any hope until Jesus gives them to me. 

Jesus has broken me these past two months. Broken me to the point of sobbing tears, broken me to the point of desperation. Broken me like I cannot even begin to describe. It sounds awful, it is awful. but it has been the best two months of my life. 

Through my brokenness I have found freedom. Freedom that cannot come through anything worldly. Freedom that allows Jesus to come fill the broken pieces of my heart. Freedom that only leads me back to my brokenness. 

Once I experienced that type of freedom, I thought "Okay God thanks! This is so awesome, I love you and your power, but I got it now." Whoops here we go again... back to the starting block.

Everyday I have to allow Jesus to break me, because as soon as I think I have any power is when my life starts to fall apart again.

Living for Jesus isn't easy, its not for the weak or the easily frightened. It is a daily surrender of Michaela and a daily acceptance of the grace of God. 

Fighting for the Kingdom of God is harder than I ever imagined, it brings me to my knees daily, But it is truly the only fight worth fighting.

Matthew 5:3

Blessed are the POUR IN SPIRIT, for theirs is the KINGDOM OF HEAVEN.