Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

“I can do this.”

I whispered to myself as I walked up to a lady holding a small sick child. From first glance, she was 5, maybe 6 months old. I started talking to her mother, who's tears sprung to her eyes as soon as she saw me. “I’ve been waiting for a white person, to come and help us. My 2 year old daughter has heart disease, she is going to die if she doesn’t have surgery, I have no money.”

“I can do this.”

The line at the feeding was increasing, the containers of food we had were not. I had learned after three or four feedings a day for the 4 weeks I had been in Tacloban, exactly how much we could feed with a container. We were going to run out.

“I can do this.”

After 10 days of being sick with Dengue, I finally ventured back into the world of ministry yesterday. I was needed at the JAZ Home as one of the caretakers had left the country.

…..

My weakness: too much faith in me, and not enough faith in God. trying to stand myself, when I need Him to hold me up.

…..

That 2 year old, who needed medical help- I was evacuated out of Tacloban before I could do anything. 

That feeding line, God multiplied the food, and we served everyone in the village.

After my ministry day of relying on my own strength- I got physically sick last night, slept for 12 hours and can hardly move today.

The truth is. “I can’t do it.”

I can’t help that little girl. And I didn’t trust God to heal her.

I can’t feed all the hungry. And I didn’t trust God to feed them.

I can’t do ministry myself. And I didn’t trust God to carry me.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Today, sick in bed, God changed my prayers. Not that I would be able to do more to advance His Kingdom as my time in the Philippines ticks slowly down, but that I would boast in my weaknesses, not hide them. That I would accept His strength instead of my own. 

In Jesus name. amen.

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