I woke up to the sound of the men building up the walls of our tent. Rain is pouring into our tarp-tent. As a group we slide down and squish in. I now have about 18 inches to sleep for the rest of the night, and I no longer have a pillow, so I am sharing with the two girls next to me. Rain is starting to puddle on the sides of the tent so we scoot closer together, forgetting all comfort, just trying to stay dry. We finally get all quieted down and settled together out of the rain and I close my eyes to fall asleep.

Thoughts of the evening creep into my heart. Amazing stories my teammates shared, how God changed their lives so much and I could see God’s love pouring out of their hearts. I was amazed with the incredible people that God placed around me on this trip.

“Your not worthy, your not good enough to stay with these teammates.”

My eyes flew open at the thought. “What?” I thought. We had spent the whole previous day making declarations to the Lord about how I am worthy, I am a child of God, I am going to change the world. Why are these thoughts still here?

“All of these people have overcome their struggles, look at you, you can’t even make it 6 hours without letting the devil’s lies creep into your thoughts. Obviously, you aren’t worthy if you can’t do this for even a day!”

Tears started streaming down my face as I tried to not move and wake my team. I didn’t want these lies to control me any longer, but I didn’t know how to keep them out. I wanted so much to be free of this ‘your unworthy’ lie that I could do nothing else, so I cried more!

I just started to pray, started to ask Jesus to come and comfort my heart. To bring peace and truth into my mind when these lies crept in. I closed my eyes again and just prayed with all of my heart. Then, I fell asleep.

This story may not seem like much, one with an anti-climactic ending, but it was a miracle unlike any I have ever experienced. I needed comfort in the most desperate of ways- and all I had to do was talk to my Lord. He is my comfort and strength and He is all I need to receive the peace- even if all I need the peace for is to simply, fall asleep.