Genesis 12:4
"So Abram went, as the Lord had told him."
No Questions Asked- and God blessed him.
Michaela, Katie and Sara- Denver, CO- New Years Eve 2010
I sat at 3 in the morning, in a hotel in Denver, attending yet another Christian conference. Earlier that day, I briefly spoke to a women with Adventures in Missions (I am sure you all see where this story is going!) I could not get her out of my head. Our converstaion had not been much. She told me about the organization, and I moved on. So, why could I not stop thinking about it? Why couldn't I fall asleep? Staring at the ceiling, I questioned God.
"I know God. I know other countries need to hear Your word. But I am in college; I need to finish my degree. Choose someone else. My parents would kill me if I left school now. I can't leave now. Give me a few years, then I'll do whatever You say."
The next night, New Years Eve 2010, God broke me. At this confernece we spent New Years Eve praising in the New Year. God brought me to my knees in utter surrender. My life was not my own. I needed to listen to His calling and go- No questions asked- like Abram.
I suppose I am starting a little backwards. I was raised in a Christian home, accepted Christ as my Savior at a very young age. I had done everything a typical Christian does. I could lead bible studies, show God's love to people, share the Gospel; I had been a Christian my whole life- Showing God's love to those around me was exciting- but comfortable. I was fine doing whatever God asked- if it was in my plan.
Yup- I am a planner. I have had my whole life mapped out since I can remember.
Graduate High school- check
Get Scholarships- check
Go to college- check
Excel at college
Maybe get a Masters
Get married
Start a family
"Okay God- as long as Your plan fits this, I am good with it!'
But God had different plans. A few weeks before I attended this conference in Denver, my mother was diagnosed with cancer, my boyfriend of two years and I broke up, my semester grades came in much lower than ever before- all within about a week. I felt like a failure, everything on my checklist was falling to pieces.
God had been preparing my heart for this huge transition. He held me together through the roughest months of my life. Then He lay the burden on my heart for those whose heart had been broken like mine.
My only desire was to share with them the love God had given me!
I knew in that moment- New Years Eve 2010- laying face down on the ground- My life was no longer my own. My life belonged to my Savior, my King. The One who healed my heart when no one else could. The One who loved me enough to piece together brokenness that I didn't know exsisted.
The lyrics to the song Where You Lead Me have echoed in my heart since that day. My desire is to forever follow the leadings of the Lord, my God, wherever in this world He will take me!
