I sat outside yesterday waiting for dinner, and tapping my pen against my journal to the  beat of the music playing through my headphones, when a young man on my team abruptly flung himself into the chair across from me and started flipping through his bible at outrageous speed. 

Confused, I slowly took my headphones out of my ears, eyebrows raised inquisitively. "Hi" I slowly ventured to proceed into the conversation. "how was your afternoon?"

When he looked up at me hurt, confusion, and sadness filled his normally joyful eyes. 

"I am trying to find the joy in it" he told me, words dripping with pain, "she is 12 years old, she cares for her dying mother and 5 other siblings. I'm just trying to find the joy."

As I watched this young man process what he saw, the pain and devastation of poverty like he had never seen, my heart got to break along side him.

Sometimes, the Lord places us in community where others can see His heart and we can't. This week I had trouble breaking the way God breaks for his children in Manila. I couldn't feel the hurt. But my brother could. he was able to look past his comfort and let their brokenness get past his own. and then he went to Jesus. he gets to sit in the comfort of Jesus' lap and ask questions. and I get to watch. I get to come along side him and break with him. 

when God called me to lead this trip I really had no idea what to expect. i still don't, but today i figured out something. these phenomenal men and women have an insight into Christ that I need. and i get to love them through this journey. watch and hurt along side them and take it back to Christ. i get to lead in ways i don't yet understand. 

they get to experience all of this and i get to love them. period. i get to love my team through their hurts, pain and questions and it thrills my heart. and amazingly i think this is exactly where Jesus wants me. 

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